Nostalgia

nostalgia: (n) 1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past

One step closer to being official. No more babies for us. I spent the better half of yesterday morning going through clothes and baby gear to donate. My friend, Helen, was coming by in the afternoon to pick up everything I was ready to part with. She is expecting a baby girl this summer and also donating goods to the annual Junior League of Colorado Springs Trash n' Treasure Sale. I told her to go through and keep whatever she wanted and donate whatever she didn't. (Note to Erin: No pressure babe, but I did keep the stuff that I loved most back for you and Dale, we'll hook you up)

I immediately started to feel all nostalgic when I set out to complete this task. It's not that I really want another child, as I'm perfectly happy with the two that we have been blessed with, but there is just something about that infant stage that I love. It's hard as hell, the sleep deprivation, crying, worrying, but I loved the nursing, rocking, cuddling, swaddling. Then they hit the age where they don't want to sit still for any of that anymore and off they go into the world of independence.

So, unless someone else has another plan for us, we won't be adding more to our brood. With that being said, here are our/my reasons for stopping at two. They might seem selfish to some, but hey, at least we are honest with ourselves!

• Lifestyle: We enjoy certain luxuries (traveling, shopping, dining out, etc) that we don't want to give up. We want our children to enjoy these luxuries. Maybe we are spoiling them? I don't know, I believe you can give your children things without going overboard and still teach them values. At least that is what we are aiming for, we'll see in about 10 years if we are raising brats.
• Expenses: College. Weddings. We would like to be able to pay for both of these (or at least most of it) for our children. I, personally, don't want my girls starting out life with a significant student loan, as I did. I certainly appreciate my college education considering I (with Brian's help) footed the bill, but how nice would it have been to not start out life with that kind of debt? That's what we want for our children.
• Retirement: Yes, having a financial consultant spouse weighs heavy on our retirement planning. We'd both like to retire by 55. It will be a stretch but with diligent retirement saving, it is doable. Add a few more children to the mix, not so doable.
• Weight Gain: Ok, so this one is minor, really. Quite honestly though, I don't want to get fat again. Don't get me wrong, my girls were well worth the 45 lbs I gained with each. But, darn it, I've worked hard to get back down to a size 4 after both and I don't know that I have it in me to do it again.

So that's all it was - nostalgia. No regret, no decisions to be reconsidered, just precious memories of those sweet little babies that are now a full fledged toddler and precocious pre-schooler!